I have been agonizing over this blog, well as much as someone like me actually agonizes over anything. I couldn't decide how completely honest I wanted to be on the interwebs! Should I lie and tell you that my biggest insecurity is something that everyone is insecure about, like a body part I wish I could change? I mean, I could play it safe and tell you that I'm insecure about my thunder thighs, but that wouldn't be true. I know I don't look like a runway model, but I'm absolutely beautiful and completely sure of it. No insecurities there!
Then I thought about my amazing friends over at "Talk Thirty to Me" and realized that I really admire them for discussing life just like it is! They put themselves out there so that other people can realize they are not alone in their life experiences. How reassuring to be validated in our insecurities, idiosyncrasies, or our short comings! And if no one can relate to me in this one, that's okay. I'll just focus on being proud of my ability to be honest.
So here it is, my biggest insecurity. If you know me at all, you know that I have a lot of love to give. I love my life, I love my job, I love my family, I love my friends, and the list goes on. I go out of my way on a daily basis to make sure I express my love, and I gratefully acknowledge all of the love I receive in return. However, there is one love missing...true love. Yes, I have shared love with significant others, but I don't believe I have ever had true love returned to me in a way that I deserve. My biggest insecurity is that it's never going to happen.
Please don't take this moment to tell me, "Oh Maura, it's going to happen for you, I promise!" If you're single at my age, you already know you've heard this too many times. I am fully embarked on the quest to find someone, but I'm not about to rush anything. I have learned that patience is the only quality that will help me survive this journey! So until he walks through the door, I'll continue to enjoy the random dates and lovely company. I've had many memorable moments along the way, and I wouldn't trade them for anything!
lovemaura
1 comment:
I really admire and appreciate your honesty, Maura, and love that you genuinely love & respect yourself--those qualitites make you all the more beautiful! ;-)
A few semesters ago a few lady friends and I put together a night of discussion for women only with the topic of marriage (especially considering the crazy obsession with getting married during or right after graduation that exists at our college). It was a really interesting conversation (your mom had a lot of awesome things to say as usual) but very few people would admit their anxiety about whether they will ever find someone to love who will love them back in the way we all deserve. I for one share this anxiety and applaud you for articulating it so honestly and beautifully. I'm tired of the platitudes, too, even at my age. And I trust that keeping patience and an open heart is indeed our only recourse.
Much love and many blessings,
Jen
Post a Comment