It has been well established that I know NOTHING about football (well, used to know nothing!). I kept it that way on purpose. In fact, I created a pretty entertaining identity as "the-girl-who-knows-nothing!" I didn't figure out who Tebow was until people started mocking his religious rituals a couple months ago. Don't even ask me the names of quarter backs before him because the only one I know is Elway...and I like it that way! Because of the dark, sports-less corner I've been hiding in (it's really freaking hard to ignore sports in this city!), I was absolutely surprised when Kira asked ME to be her company for the game. Realizing that she could have invited numerous other people who actually know what the hell a first down is, I graciously accepted. Why would I not want to spend an afternoon with my hilarious, awesome friend doing something I have never done before? (Yeah, you heard that right. I lost my football V-card. I guess Tebow's the only virgin left in the sport!)
Of course, because of the anticipation of Maura's First Football Game, I had to mess with Kira. With the help of my friend Brunn, I managed to clothe myself in the opposing teams' get-up and join the crusades of fans who continue to mock Tebow's rituals.
Of course, I was told by many that this was sacrilegious, which to football fans it definitely was, but I couldn't help laughing at myself! I thought it was hilarious. I also answered my door with this jersey on. The look on Kira's face was totally worth it. Plus, within two seconds of walking out my front door, I was heckled by Broncos fans passing by. I had to promise them it was a joke to get them to leave me alone! You guys are serious about this shit, aren't you!
Luckily, for my own personal safety, Kira brought a bag full of Broncos paraphernalia so I was able to blend it at the game. I didn't realize how important this was until I sat next to two gentleman who came unprepared and got harassed the rest of the game for being "neutral."
Pardon the Photo Boothiness of these photos. We couldn't help but take the obligatory shots before we walked to the stadium!
Kira, being the perfect hostess, walked me all over Mile High. I have never seen tailgating before, and besides the random moments I spent watching the Texans (yeah you, Justin, Jared, Kyle and Ryan) hump a television during a football game ten or so years ago, I didn't know what lively football fans could be like. Being an extremely observant and sensory person, I think I soaked in the pre-game as much as I could possibly handle. It was definitely a sight for my fresh eyes to behold!
As we were walking around, I realized something. Everything I knew about a football game I learned watching high school football hero movies (Varsity Blues type films), and got a little disappointed that this game was not going to end on some high note where the protagonist throws some amazing pass as a hopeless crowd prays their last prayers in the last seconds of the last quarter. But that's okay. I had Kira by my side and we were gonna have fun, dammit!
By the time we wandered all the way through the stadium and found our seats, I was relieved to sit down. Relieved enough to take a couple photos to commemorate the occasion.
Notice the guy in the gray behind us? He was slowly oozing negativity and trust me, it found its way out of him! Also, not pictured, there was a harrowingly obnoxious drunk girl in front of us, and a vulgar man in front of her that really tried to ruin the game for everyone around them! The all got into a verbal altercation about who was blah blah blah blah blah! They threw verbal punches across rows of people until everyone was yelling at them. Aren't football fans supposed to unite in their mutual affection for the home team? Apparently in the north stands they don't! At one point, I turned to Kira and told her, "If this is what football fans are like, I don't like this at all." For a second there I really meant it and vowed to never return to another football game.
Fortunately for every Denverite who gives a shit about football, that's not how this game ended! It tied at 23 (conveniently my favorite number so in that moment I knew they were going to win) and you could feel the energy in the stadium change. People were sad. The guy next to me mumbled, "Great, the fucking Steelers are going to kick a field goal and we're done." How was I, the least invested person in attendance, the one who had the hope?! I told the guy not to worry. Gave him a pep talk about how the fans are supposed to be the biggest cheerleaders, and told him to be optimistic! For some reason I knew the Broncos would win.
And you know what? They did win! It was quite incredible to see. One of those high school football hero endings. The stands went crazy. I hugged more strange, drunk, white men then I ever have in my life. I definitely got caught up in the commotion. My heart beat out of my chest. My friends who knew I was at the game sent celebratory text messages and I wrapped my arms around my sweet, friend date! Turns out football can be a pretty good time after all! Who would've known?
To make up for my sacrilegious photo earlier in the evening, Kira and I snapped these photos of each other (if these mock Tebow's religion any less!).
To prove we were there, that we saw that incredible moment in Broncos playoff history with our own eyes, the not-so-grumpy-anymore guy behind us snapped this photo just so we could prove we saw it. Look at all those happy Broncos and fans in the background! Bravo boys. I'm not sure what's more impressive, that you won the game or that you convinced me that football might not be so bad!
To Kira, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking me with you! Seriously, THANK YOU!
To all you Broncos fans, despite your drunken vulgarness, over obsessive traditions, and annoying heckling, I get you. You all are an inciting force. So go out and cheer your team on to their next victory tonight! (or something like that!)






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