Skinny Girl Problems

Until recently, I have navigated my teenage and adult years in a severely overweight body. I got used to it. I learned to love it. I made it my identity. Now that's all changing. The coping mechanisms I created to survive as a fat girl are becoming obsolete. I'm realizing that I have to learn a whole new way of living because of my new body. This may seem like a gripe, but it's not. In fact, I was ready for a new lifestyle and habits anyway! I'm looking forward to the lessons this healthier body brings me. Needless to say, this experience list may just grow long enough to warrant its own blog series. I will start it now and then see where it goes.

Experience (or should I say realization) #5:
Skinny girls are bony! I've always admired guys who preferred bigger woman and found solace in the idea of cushion being sexy! I never questioned their reasoning. I was just grateful for it because it got me some lovin', but now I'm starting to realize that attraction to cushion isn't just about the allure of curves. Turns out there's also a comfortability perk! I notice this the most when I lay down to sleep at the end of the night. The feeling of my knee bones crushing together when I curl up under the covers is not cool! I have to sleep with a pillow between my knees.

Experience #23:
Big boobs require leverage for support! I'm sure you're thinking right now, "Big boobs? Skinny girl problem? Shut up, Maura!" But they are a problem! And I promise you, the way my old body carried my boobs is entirely different than how my new body carries them. Despite the drastic decrease in bra size I have experienced over the last few months, I still have some pretty hefty knockers that have to be held up somehow! Enter under-wire and ribcage. It is incredibly uncomfortable feeling my under-wire dig into my ribs all day in order to ground my bra. Before now, I always had a soft under-boob to protect my ribs from the under-wire. That safety net is gone now. It's up to my bones to do the job. OUCH!

Experience #58: 
Turns out that when your body loses a lot of insulation, it has a hard time adjusting to temperature! I am ALWAYS cold now. ALWAYS. I used to always be hot. I now understand why my Mama carries around an air conditioning sweater every where she goes.

Experience #76:
Alright, the last three experiences are funnier in nature, so now it's time to get serious. I have noticed a drastic change in the way people look at me. Considering that I have sought attention from others through entertaining means my whole life, you would think that this doesn't bother me. For the most part it doesn't, but there are two places where it really does. One of them is in the classroom (I'll talk about the second one later). My students are starting to act differently around me. They pay me compliments everyday and ask me questions all the time about Weight Watchers and the weight loss process. I love those comments because they open up a dialogue about healthy life styles and they stay respectful in nature. The conversation that I am starting to hate is when my students make comments towards my appearance that are inappropriate in nature. I have now had to stop class twice to discuss with my students why their comments towards my appearance are disrespectful and go too far. They claim that I should take it as a compliment. My rebuttal is that it actually feels degrading because they aren't treating me as an authority in the building. I'm definitely going to have to navigate this situation carefully to make sure that my professionalism is never compromised.


Experience #93:
The second place where I am bothered by a change in how people look at me is from men. I am a single lady...a fine single lady. Before I lost all this weight, I figured the men who paid me attention were good guys because they saw past a body that I felt was not perfect and appreciated an amazing person. As much as I said above that I once identified with my overweight figure, I more identified as an educated, successful, driven woman with a big heart and an unparalleled ability to laugh, love, trust, and forgive. I take pride in the person I am because I worked hard to be this person. I really don't want that to be devalued because my ass looks great in my stretch pants. With how much I have been pursued lately, I am starting to doubt why any one of these guys is interested in me. It's like the weight I used to have helped me weed out the assholes! I guess I'll just have to be more careful as I select potential mates in this dating world. Who knew that AFTER I lost weight I'd have to have my guard up even more?!


Experience #101:
My most recent upset in this skinny girl world is not something that is an experience of only skinny women. It can happen to anyone and it is WRONG. I'm just writing about it here because it is the first time it has happened to me. Recently I went to see Mariachi El Bronx. You can assume that since the music is Latin in nature, so is the dancing (well at least my dancing...there was a lot of unfortunate white boy dancing at that show!). I liked feeling sexy dancing by myself, moving my hips through a tight crowd where it seemed like no one was paying attention to me. But, somebody must have been. When Becky and I left, I was groped...and not just a quick butt slap...but fully felt up from back to front. I turned around as quickly as I could to confront the person and they had blended back into the crowd. As much as I can go off about sexual assault, I don't have to because if you're reading this, you're my friend and you vehemently hate it as much as I do. What is more important to my point right now is that I am appalled that someone viewed my body as public property that they could put their hands. I am a tactile person and I completely understand the desire to want to touch something that is visually appealing, but I have enough common sense to know when it is not appropriate. No matter how a person looks, we are NOT public property! All groping should be done only with permission...

Alright, there's my ranting on this subject. I'm sure I'll have more experiences and they will be shared as they come up.
lovemaura